I'm too sexy for these glasses

Phillip FINALLY made it to the eye doctor after years and years of buying drugstore reading glasses. He couldn't have made it through seminary without those $24 glasses.

A friend of his from Officer School in Rhose Island is stationed at the hospital. She did his eye exam, dilated his eyes, and sent him out to pick frames before his eyes got blurry. As soon as he made it to the frame shop, he couldn't see a thing. Here's what he picked:

I'm only half-kidding. These are his birth-control glasses (BCGs) for the field and any other training that would mess up his good glasses. He did get a nice set of frames, with the help of his doctor/friend, of course, since he couldn't see them. He showed Hannah his BCGs and asked if she liked them. The poor girl was horrified, but didn't want to hurt Daddy's feelings. Later I had to ASSURE her that he would never need to wear them in public.

After the kids were asleep, Phillip and I started cutting up about his glasses. Glasses have always been a source of jokes in our house. He got a horrible pair of Napolean-Dynamitish gold-framed ones a couple of years ago from the Navy and his many-a-cheapo reading glasses have been repaired with tape, gorilla glue, paper clips (only to be worn in the house from that point).

Here's a couple of statements from our laugh session about those BCGs. (It would have been so much funnier if Mitch and Lisa Marie were there!) Wait, you need another look at them:

Phillip: They feel like they're made of wood. I think they would have gone with George Washington's teeth.

Sarah: Wow, they really magnify your eyes. Wait, if I take a picture, will the flash burn your retinas like a magnifying glass?

Phillip: Sabrina (the eye doctor) said I have a freckle on my retina. It's okay as long as it doesn't get bigger.

He had been buying 1.5-strength lenses himself, but Sabrina gave him a 5.0! He says they don't seem any different than his. Let's all give him a round of applause.